Sometimes the world seems so much more manageable in the daylight. Then at night my thoughts come undone and I can't remember which way is up. This happened to me on Thursday night, when I realized I only have one more week at camp. Which is one more week at the place that makes me happier than anywhere else in the world. I know I will be happy after that too, but right now being in the real world sounds so awful to me. So my thoughts kept spinning in circles in the middle of the night, forcing me to ask myself a lot of questions.
Like these: Why am I happier here than in the "real world"?
What is it about life at camp that completes me?
How can I make it overlap more with my life at school?
And what do I do if it doesn't?
I don't have a lot of answers, but I do have a few revelations. Like this one:
Life at camp is simple. It's not easy; it's full of challenges, but it's simple. All you have to do is love God, love the kids, and love the other staff. And really, that's what I want to do in life: love God and love the people around me, to the fullest extent I can.
Here's another one:
I don't know exactly how the different parts of my life fit together, but I'm becoming oddly comforted by the phrase "It is what it is". And I know that everything will be okay. I believe in myself enough to follow what feels right to me, and being at camp teaches me a lot about what feels right.
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