Last night was the coffeehouse for Take Back the Night week, the time when everyone is invited to share stories, poems, and songs from their experiences with sexual violence. As always, these stories brought both pain and healing to those of us who heard them.
I heard a girl tell the story of a family member raping her thirteen-year-old sister, and all I could think was what if that had been my sister. I cried until my eyes were sore at hearing all the stories of abuse (so many, many stories) and felt bewildered at my own reaction. A small part of me was asking, what right do I have to cry?
I don't have a story, but I feel like I do. A wise friend of mine said, "We are the stories we've heard." I feel like a victim because I know far too many people who have experienced sexual abuse, and because I have carried their stories with me, and because I feel other people's pain when they share their words like this. Another friend told me that secondhand trauma is real and justified, and maybe that's me.
But I know that I'm glad I feel these things -- I don't ever want to cease to empathize with another's pain, because that is when we cease to embrace our shared humanity. We are human together, and we walk with each other through darkness and light.
I love you dear! One way that I have heard it put is, "God is breaking your heart with what breaks His/Hers."
ReplyDeleteWe feel what we feel for a reason, and we grow and are empowered by it.
Meg I happened on your blog today about the family get together and so was just looking at your other posts. Came across this one about abuse. When someone who has not been abused but can feel our pain it means so much. In working with MKs who have been abused someone like you is a great encouragement. Thank you.
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