Saturday, December 29, 2012

Lesotho reflections: #1

While living in Malealea, Lesotho (the mountain kingdom), I wanted to capture my surroundings in some way, but found pictures to be inadequate.  These words may not do it justice either, but it was the most fulfilling way I had of helping myself to remember how we were steeped in beauty.

October 13, 2012

I wish you could see what I see.  I'm sitting on a rock on the northwest side of the plateau of Malealea village, our home this month.  In front of me, the ground falls away steeply in a rocky mountainside; far below, it reaches a stream gorge hollowed out over time by water erosion.  The stream curves all around the plateau and also branches out straight in front of me, carving into the vast mountains.  These mountains surround the plateau completely, forming layers as far as you can see.  The nearest ones are dizzyingly enormous and so close I can see the details of the sides:  bare rock some places, small shrubs dotting the green of short, prickly grasses.  Though I'm only a few minutes' walk from the village, the only sounds I can hear are a distant rush of water, bird caws and chirps, and a faint clink of cowbells -- probably a flock of sheep grazing on the mountainside, tended by a herd-boy.
The sun is still bright in the late afternoon sky, but it is nearing the tallest ridgeline.  Entire mountains cast shadows hundreds of feet long on their neighbors; other places the landscape is dappled with shadow and warm golden light.  The air is thick with peace; the breeze carries it to you and you breathe it in.  I wish you could feel it.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

South Africa Itinerary

Please pray for us now and throughout the semester!

Aug. 29          Chapel, departure for Dulles Airport

Aug 30 –
Sept. 2           St. Benedict's Retreat Center – Rosettenville
                                      Cultural history lectures, language study

Sept. 3-22     Homestays - Soweto
                                      Field trips, history/cultural lectures and discussion,
                                      language study, involvement in community. 

Sept. 23         St. Benedict’s Retreat Center                    

Sept. 24-27   Malealea Lodge – Lesotho
                                      Language study, history and CC lectures, hiking

Sept 28-
Oct. 19           Homestays – Malealea Village, Lesotho
                                       Immersion in local villages
      
Oct. 20           Malealea lodge: rest, skits and dramas

Oct. 21-28     Royal Hotel – Bethulie, S.A.
                                        Lectures on politics, history and culture, Boer war

Oct. 24-26     Homestays – Bethulie
                                        Immersion in community

Oct. 29           Addo Elephant Park – Addo, S.A.

Oct. 30-31     Albergo Lodge – Plettenberg Bay, S.A.
                                        Reflection, discussion, drama groups

Nov. 1-6        Free travel       

Nov. 7-8        Banghoek Lodge – Stellenbosh, S.A.
                                        Reflection /discussion small groups
                   
Nov. 9, 10      Ashanti Lodge – Capetown

Nov. 11-
Dec. 2            Homestays – Capetown
                                        Series of lectures at University of Cape Town
                                         Immersion in community
                         
Dec. 3-6         Banghoek Lodge, S.A.

Dec. 7            Leave from Capetown International Airport

Dec. 8            Arrive at Dulles Airport

Sunday, August 5, 2012

anti-senioritis?

Here's the thing:  Once you hit a certain point in the summer (like, August, for example), it becomes odd to keep saying, "I just finished my junior year."  So then you find yourself saying, naturally, "I'll be a senior this year."  Which is the cue for the other person to exclaim, "Oh!  What will you do after you graduate?"
Laughing uncomfortably is not really an adequate response, it turns out.

So I now know that I need to somehow formulate a response that does not either take an in-depth, lengthy conversation to explain, or sound like I'm going to be living in a cardboard box.  My extended family (who I was with at the beach last week) is pretty great, so they've seemed to understand when I babble for a while about my various options after graduation...and they've encouraged me that it's okay to have a lot of ideas and not very many plans.  But I'm already doubting my stamina when it comes to explaining this to every single person who will ask me this question.

The interesting thing is, it doesn't scare me at all to have so many possibilities.  There are many directions I could see myself going within the next year, and I'm okay with that.  I might not be ready to leave EMU yet, but that's okay, too, because I still have another year.

For now, I can use the excuse of going to South Africa this fall (in 24 days!), and not have to think about it too much.  But eventually I'll have to come up with some sort of creatively framed answer.  At the beginning of the summer, I panicked while filling out a staff bio and wrote "follower of Jesus" under "Career path".  Maybe that can be my fallback answer.  In truth, it's much more than a fallback -- it is a way of living, and maybe we all need to be a little more okay with ambiguity when it comes to seeking out Christ's path.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

To my father

This is written in appreciation of my father.  I hope you will consider the people in your own life and why you appreciate them.

Like my mom, my dad has instilled in me a desire to do the best I can with what I have.  Both my parents have mentored me in following Christ and caring for others, and I aspire to be like them.

My dad teaches middle school special education for students with emotional disabilities.  That means that he regularly puts up with verbal attacks, violent behavior, and resistance to authority, and still comes home smiling most days.  He's one of the most caring, patient, servant-hearted people I know.

When I wanted to learn how to throw a football (so P.E. wasn't so embarrassing), he was always willing to practice with me.  We went to many UVA football games together, and I could yell the team cheer with the best of them.  He taught me how to drive and how to keep track of money.  He makes the best omelets.  More than anything, I love to laugh with him.

In the face of life decisions and career choices, I am especially grateful for the presence of my dad.  Many people act as if making a career change would be up there with flea infestations and getting a concussion.  Because the idea of picking something and sticking with it for 30+ years has never really appealed to me, I often find it difficult to respond to this type of attitude.

But I know my dad majored in accounting, worked for five years as an accountant and didn't like it, and switched rather drastically to a career as a school counselor, all before I was born (or old enough to remember).  And later, I watched him switch to teaching special ed because of a job opportunity and end up loving it.

All this has taught me about following your passion, even if there are obstacles in your way.  In less than a year, I will graduate from EMU and be an alleged "adult" (heh heh).  At this point, it's hard for me to see myself choosing a career path and sticking with it for 40 years -- and it means a lot to me to have a role model who has navigated these life changes with grace and perseverance.

All in all, my dad has been a supportive, calming, and quietly inspirational presence in my life.  Perhaps what speaks the most to me is that he rarely exerts his influence of character with words; instead, he inspires me with his life.

Happy Father's Day, Dad.  I love you.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

summer, part two

I've learned an incredible amount from volunteering the past six weeks, especially from the people I've worked with -- and not just about gardening or running a fair-trade store; I've learned a lot from them as good-hearted, beautiful people.  Being at home has been wonderful, too.  I've spent time with my family and many friends, and it has been a mix of restful and happy and vivid.  So really, this stage of summer has been everything I could have hoped for.
On Monday I start training at Highland.  I could be sad to leave this relaxed, life-giving period of time, except that I know that my time at camp will be every bit as inspiring.

As a third-time counselor, I know the basics of what to expect:  spending every minute of every day outside, throwing ourselves into lots of high-energy activities, bringing laughter into almost every situation, and letting the craziest parts of our personalities come out.  It's an amazing 2-month period to anticipate.  The best, in fact:  I know, without a doubt, that I will be completely and indescribably happy.

But, as a third-time counselor, I also know that not everything can be anticipated.  The reason so many people spend summer after summer as a camp counselor is because the role is never static.  Each week brings a new set of campers, and with them, a new set of challenges and joys.  Every day allows you to experience something beautiful and transforming, if you are open to being transformed.

I have no regrets about any of my experiences as a counselor, and yet I know with certainty that I could be better in countless ways.  So I'm praying that this summer I will be more patient, more open, and more giving with the girls in my cabin groups, and that I will be receptive to what they need.  I'm praying for closeness as a team of staff, and for friendships that will last for years.  Most of all, I hope and pray that Highland and its family will be a community of people following Jesus, showing God to everyone who visits.  Pray for us as we start another journey this summer!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

favorite Bible verses

Inspired by one of my inspiring roommates, I contacted most of my family and extended family (my parents, their siblings, and my grandparents) and asked them to send me their favorite Bible verses.  After receiving many responses, including their words of explanation as to why those verses have been influential and life-giving, I decided to formulate a similar list for myself.  In no particular order, these are the Bible passages that have shaped me the most and given me a vision for my life.

Psalm 19
The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.  Day after day they pour forth speech...
This psalm describes beautifully the way I feel about nature.

Psalm 27
The Lord is my light and my salvation -- whom shall I fear?
...One thing I ask of the Lord; this is what I seek:  that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.  For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling...
I am still confident of this:  I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
In the season of my life when I most needed a refuge to cling to, this psalm calmed my discouraged, fearful heart.

Isaiah 58: 6-14
Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:  to loose the chains of injustice and to untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free....If you do away with the yoke of oppression...and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.  The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land...
This is the vision that inspires me every day.

Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

1 Kings 19:11-12
The Lord said, "Go out and stand on the mountaintop in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind.  After the wind there was an earthquake, bu the Lord was not in the earthquake.  After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.  And after the fire came a gentle whisper.
As someone who has trouble slowing down to hear the gentle whisper of God, these verses have helped me learn to listen.

Matthew 19:23-24
Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven.  Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven."
In tenth grade, I did a research project & presentation for my Bible class on the question "Should Christians be wealthy?"  Looking back, I think it was one of the most beneficial projects I did in high school.


Luke 9:23-24
Then he said to them all, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.  For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it."


Luke 10:27
He answered: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself."


Romans 12
Therefore I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God -- this is your spiritual act of worship...
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse...Live in harmony with one another...


2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.


Philippians 1:3
I thank my God every time I remember you.
This reminds me to be constantly thankful for the beautiful people in my life.


1 John 3:1-3
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!  And that is what we are!  The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.  Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known.  But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.  Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure.
We studied these verses in my baptism class, and it was the kind of promise I needed at that time in life.


Colossians 3:14-15
And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.  Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.  And be thankful.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

To my mother

Whether or not you know her, I hope this will make you thankful for the important women in your own life.

My mom taught me that you can be a mom and have a full-time career, but that your family is more important.  She taught me how to love and be angry at the same time.  She taught me that nothing is more important than being honest.  She taught me that it is possible to always challenge yourself, try new things, and continually grow to be a better person, even after age 40.

Both my parents have done an incredible job of modeling life as a follower of Jesus.  I'm still trying to figure out how they instilled their values and faith in me so well.  They conveyed to me how important these values are, but not so that they felt forced upon me.  My mom is a wide-minded idealist who doesn't think any dream is too big, and who isn't afraid to take a few stumbling steps to find the path she's searching for.

She's funny and quirky, but knows how to get along with everyone.  She's often said she's not good at small talk, and it's because she wants to talk about things that matter.

If you want someone to listen to you, especially if you have a question or dilemma, and give helpful suggestions, there's no one better.  In all my growing up years, including all four years of high school, my mom was the person I would go to for ideas and advice about projects, relationships, and decisions of any kind (and often I still do).  For a while I wasn't sure how I would survive at college without her always there to help me brainstorm.

It's funny sometimes how much we resemble each other -- not just in looks, but also in voice, mannerisms, personality, and quirks -- but I never mind claiming this, because I am honored to be like her.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom.  I love you.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

becoming part of New Community Project

Many of you probably know that in an effort to learn more about the world, engage in the local community, and make both a better place, I decided to volunteer with two different organizations and learn how they do what they do.  The main criteria were for a clear mission to build up the local and global communities, a small enough size that I could easily learn about different aspects of their work, and close enough for me to bike to.

The two I ended up with are Artisans' Hope and New Community Project.  Very different, but both awesome and doing great things to help build a healthy and beautiful world.

Today was my first day at New Community Project, working in two of their gardens.  I have many reflections that are only seeds right now, but here is a small effort at sharing what today was like.

I gathered dripping lettuce in my hands and thought, This is amazing.  This came from the earth.  Everything we did today, from dropping tiny beet seeds into dark soil to transporting bins full of compost back from the food co-op on bike trailers, helped to enrich the earth and make it better.

Did you know bronze fennel tastes like black licorice and feels like soft hamster fur?  Did you know comfrey plants contain so many nutrients that soaking the leaves in water will produce fertilizer for a garden?  Did you know you can put rose petals in salad mix?

It's going to be a good summer.  :)

Sunday, April 22, 2012

snapshots

I want to remember two moments from today.

First, a moment from our Chambers service at Zion this morning.  In the song "I love the Lord", one line says, "Oh let my heart no more despair, while I have breath to pray," and when we sing it, I can feel the despair just as much as the overcoming.  At that moment, I looked up and saw a father swinging his three-year-old daughter by the hands out in the hall, back and forth.  And the look of delight on her face perfectly matched what I imagined the song to mean.

And second, the moment during our Chambers evening concert when Nels ducked in the back door of the sanctuary while we were singing a hymn.  It wasn't the way I thought we would welcome him home from Guatemala, but it still made this run-through of "We Sing to You, O God" the happiest ever.  :)

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

springtime glory

I stared a little too long at an almost impertinently violet tree today.  It stared back with flippant confidence, daring me to reach that same shade of shocking purple.

These days I am constantly amazed at the life that is bursting forth from the earth.  I was captivated by the trees by the outdoor track -- delicate light pink blossoms birthing deep red leaves, all over the tree, each one down the line the same.  Nature blows my mind.

The little things make me glad to be alive.  Like the music games I played with my violin student today (and the inside-joke Easter basket she gave me); like the promise of many church services and a bonfire this weekend; like lying on a couch late at night and laughing with my roommate.
It is good to be alive, it is good to be here.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

unending faithfulness

We sang this song today, and in the (rare) quiet time that followed, the words felt so true to me.  

Your love, oh Lord, reaches to the heavens
Your faithfulness stretches to the skies
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountain
Your justice flows like the ocean's tide

And I will lift my voice
To worship you, my King
And I will find my strength
In the shadow of your wings.

Other conversations after that raised questions for me about how to search for (and encourage) spirituality at EMU, and in light of that, my hope is that this feels like a prayer to you too.  Whatever our differences are, this is still true.

Monday, March 26, 2012

generations

Today I listened to a speech about how we should care for the elderly people that surround us.  We're pretty good at caring for them physically, but I think they are often emotionally neglected and devalued, and this is becoming increasingly more near to my heart.  The other day I stood behind an old woman in line at Red Front and watched her arthritic fingers undo the clasp on her wallet, and I thought, She's still beautiful.  I wonder if she knows that she's still beautiful.  I didn't tell her, but I hope she knew.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

plastic wasteland

This morning both of my classes contained a "Here's something terrible about the world that will make you really depressed and angry, but instead of feeling horrible, you should do something about it" moment.  This is the first one:  plastic bags.

I could spend a long time despairing about the horrible-ness of what we have already done to our beautiful earth, but here's a quick summary.
  • Globally, we use 500 billion to 1 trillion plastic bags each year.
  • You can recycle them, but it's way expensive.  (It costs $4,000 to recycle one ton of plastic bags, when they can be sold for about $32.)
  • They do eventually break down (after about 1,000 years), but then they become even more toxic and pollute the soil.
  • Our oceans are literally filled with them.  Every square mile of ocean has about 46,000 pieces of plastic floating in it.  Thus, they are also dangerous to wildlife.
  • They are disgusting, toxic, and unnecessary.
So!  The point of that was to be real, not to be too depressing or guilt-inducing.  And the point of this blog post is to challenge myself and you to do something different!

Entire countries have banned plastic bags.  (Ireland, South Africa, Australia, etc.)  U.S. cities (Seattle, San Francisco, Washington, D.C., etc.) have started to either ban plastic bags or tax them to encourage people to find alternatives, and many of those changes have happened within the past year.  Which is exciting!  It means things are getting better.

We've basically messed up our entire planet in a lot of ways, but there are changes that will make things a whole lot better.  We can still start caring for our earth and all its creatures, plus our brothers and sisters all over the world.

Personally, I think it would be awesome if we moved away from plastic bags in Harrisonburg.  I know not everyone would be excited about it (in fact, a lot of Americans are surprisingly angry at the prospect), but there would be plenty of ways to do it that would make it semi-painless (subsidizing paper bags, providing cloth bags to consumers, etc.).  And I've been really encouraged by all the community-focused, globally-minded things that are already in place in Harrisonburg.

What do you think?

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

love

I had this book on my list of books to read and I wasn't sure why (other than a recommendation from a friend).  Then I read this quote, and now I know why.


"Love is a temporary madness.  It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides.  And when it subsides you have to make a decision.  You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.  Because this is what love is.  Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion.  That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.  Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.  Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."


-Corelli's Mandolin

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

awake, my soul

I know it's been a while.  Sometimes I'm struck with a sudden fear that the things I spend my time doing are completely pointless, so this was my way of cleansing.  Still, there is something in me that needs to express my life in words, so here are some highlights from the past 6 weeks or so.

To start, here's a life lesson:  If you decide to eat a banana as a snack before your third class, you should not put it in your backpack for the duration of your first two classes.  If you do, it will squish itself into banana mush all over the inside of your backpack, and your stomach will make embarrassingly loud grumbling noises during Creative Writing.

I actually love Creative Writing more than I thought it was possible to love a college class.  My first story was terrifying ("It has to be PERFECT, oh I love this idea, no wait that sounds dumb, I should use this phrase because it's awesome, how did it get to be 11:30 already?!"), but since then it's become more and more satisfying to write my two-page story every week.  I realized pretty quickly that I actually have a voice.  No, really, and I have stories!   And I can tell them!  And so can you.  It was so exciting/liberating/surprising to find a deep well of "story seeds" somewhere in my imagination, just waiting for me to let them out.

Last week I was stricken by a mean nasty stomach-flu demon that necessitated that I confine myself to a mattress, sleep about 18 hours a day, and give up eating for the better part of a week.  I also learned that roommates make good mothers.


My 7-year-old violin student gave me girl scout cookies and a pink decorated pencil. I got a gift card to the Friendly City Food Co-op for Valentine's Day (thanks parents!), and I can't wait to spend it on things like soy milk and Greek yogurt and peanut butter and tea. I get excited to be at church. My friends and I spend Sunday afternoons putting together puzzles on the living room floor. I started running and it makes me feel thankful.

And yesterday and today I've been discovering that a significant amount of the pressure I feel about life comes from me.  I don't really want to explain it except to say that it was kind of a shock to realize that I'm my own enemy, but hey, that seems pretty fitting with what I've learned about life.
So here's to becoming my own solution.  I’m gonna start acting the way I say I want people to act.  How’s that for radical?

In the words of this week's Spiritual Life speaker/artist/songwriter/child advocate, this is how I feel about life currently.

The sun is coming out
in me.


I hope you feel the same.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

new year's goals


I don't like New Year's resolutions because I believe in making myself change more often than once a year.  Still, I like setting goals regularly, and the new year seems like a good time for it.

This year, I want to love as if I have always been loved in return, try new things (especially things that scare me a little), and throw myself deeply into life.  More specifically, I have three goals:

I read through The Simple Way's list of 50 Ways to Become the Answer to Our Prayers again, and it was challenging and inspiring and terrifying, as always.  This year I want to pick at least ten of those ideas and follow them.
Along the same lines, the idea of sponsoring a child keeps coming back to me.  I'm torn between financial responsibility (I hate it, but it's still so compelling sometimes) and the commitment to real change.  C.S. Lewis's words from years ago keep coming to mind again and again:  "You must give more than you can afford to spare."

I want to make at least three new friends who are a different ethnicity than I am.  To some of you this may be so natural it doesn't have to be a goal -- but although I do this sometimes, I want to be much better at interacting with people who come from a different background or culture than I do.

And I want to keep a prayer journal.  I just like the idea of being more intentional about talking to God, and for me writing is always a way of solidifying things.  For example, I'm writing this blog post.  :)

What are you going to do this year?