fall thoughts

I am feeling tentatively secure.  And no, that's not an oxymoron.

I'm learning to admit the fears and insecurities that sometimes try to follow me through life.  I'm learning that everyone else suffers from them too, and to admit to them is not weakness but strength.  I am teaching my inner self to say, without even a shadow of a doubt, I am rightfully loved.
So when I find myself fallen and shaky and unsure of the next step in life, I am trying to find the courage to say out loud that everything is not okay.  Because I've noticed that there are people in my life who seem to care an awful lot about me, and blessings like that should not be distrusted with the fear that these people want me to be perfect.
Instead, I've started telling the truth and I'm going to keep on telling it.  I am happy, but not always; I am loved, but sometimes I forget; I am content with myself the way I am, but sometimes I let myself down.  And all this is okay, because every soul on earth struggles with feeling hopelessly inadequate at one time or another.  The worst thing we can do with this feeling is keep it inside, which is what I used to do, and it doesn't make you feel any better.  Henri Nouwen said that what is most personal is most universal, and I'm going to start living that way.