This week: Firsts and lasts

I've been waiting to write until my thoughts settled into a pattern, but I decided to stop holding out for that to happen.

Last weekend was a blissful haven spent in the shelter of some of my best friends. At the same time, melancholy and grief were stitched throughout my experiences, knowing that this was the last time we would be together for probably a year or so. Still, there were enough moments to hold onto, to carry me forward in the weeks to come. Like my last group hug with A, B, and J Sunday morning, soaking up the togetherness and love and contentment.

On Sunday afternoon, singing hymns with some of our favorite church friends. Looking around our little circle and feeling so grateful for sound and voice and the company of these friends, almost bursting with the joy of song.
Then being given a jar of wildflowers. Singing a parting song. Crying. Taking an iPad selfie with everyone. Beauty.

Reminding myself that I'm in the midst of the hard work of leaving.

On Monday, we got to meet Paula and Bruce, two of our future friends at Beth-El Mennonite Church in the Springs. Feeling the budding excitement and a sense of right-ness, the more pleasant (but equally important) counterpart to the grief of leaving.

Also on Monday, I finally got a smart phone. The first thing I did was set the ring tones. Editing out all my techno-mishaps, the second thing I did was connect to my email, and the third was to text some people a photo (a feat my archaic flip phone couldn't handle). The fourth was to download NPR and brain training apps. I've been feeling very Ravenclaw this week.

My 23rd birthday on Wednesday. Devouring pancakes and an excellent book. Packing. Dinner and chocolate cake with my beloved family.

Last day of work on Thursday. Trying to muster up some sadness, but mostly just feeling thankful for such a supportive work environment and great coworkers. It's time to move on.

Also Thursday, dinner with Brent and Kirsten, the first Colorado Springs leaders. (I didn't realize how young that unit is -- it started in 2010-2011. So we'll only be the third set of leaders.) As someone who takes a long time to make friends, it's rare for me to feel an immediate sense of kinship twice in one week, but that's what happened this time. We left feeling re-energized, excited, and supported, just like we did after coffee on Monday.

This morning, saying goodbye to one of my best friends. Seeing her future and mine bursting with new joy and potential, and wishing we could do next year together, yet knowing that every year I've had with her has been a gift. Calling to mind, not for the first time this week, the wise words of Winnie the Pooh: "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

Counting down to our departure next Sunday. Next week will be full of extreme packing and even more goodbyes. But so far I've succeeded in remembering two things: that sadness is a natural and important part of living this good life, and that endings remind us of the blessings we've experienced. May it continue to be so.